It has been revealed today that 9 out of 10 pilots landing in the U.K were unaware that Heathrow's Terminal 5 actually existed.
Japanese pilots claimed today that they had thought Terminal 5 was "folklore" and hadn't even looked for it as a destination. American and Lithuanian pilots had reported back "strange lights on the ground" and "voices guiding them in to land" before panicking and diverting back to Manchester.
A Russian pilot, used to landing space shuttles, described how he was "shocked and awed" to see the "Terminal 5 of legend" rising up out of the mist before him as he braved an emergency landing. He described "people of all hues" silently emerging from the runway and "touching his plane in wonder" before being herded back into the building by security guards.
A baggage handler, known only as "Arthur" described how he had been interviewed for a job at Terminal 5, but had thought it was a wind-up after turning up and handling no baggage for 7 days.
"We did see a plane once," he said," we lit the fires, but it went past. We are making a 6ft high SOS in toothpaste at the moment but the rain keeps washing it away. I just want to go home to my family, I can call them from the payphone, but I just don't know where I'm calling from", he sobbed.