Written by Horace Teeth
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Topics: Poo, Parliament

Friday, 28 March 2008

image for Government Plans to Stockpile Bullshit
No shit here!

In a new report, due out next week, a government expert has warned that bullshit will run out by the year 2015.

Global warming due to cattle farting has prompted the government to seriously consider banning all beef and dairy farming. This, and the fact that vegetarians are beginning to get restless has forced Gordon Brown (The world's most British man), to make this bold decision, maybe, we'll see.

A mountain in the Scottish Highlands, possibly Ben Doon in Sutherland will be skillfully hollowed out and bullshit pumped in at a rate of 2 million tons a second. This feat of modern British engineering at it's best should cost the taxpayer no more than 800 billion pounds.

A spokesman for Downing Street said yesterday "Picture in your mind, all that bullshit running out. It's easy if you try!

Think of trying to run a democracy without bullshit at it's central core. It's simply unthinkable!"
The Prime Minister said "I have built my career around bullshit, so have my cabinet. I owe my position in British life to bullshit. Amen."

Alex Salmond was quick to declare "It's Scotland's oil - and it'll be Scotland's shite!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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