A study carried out by Liverpool John Moore's university has found almost all of 15-to-16-year-olds in North West England are involved in underage binge drinking and violence.
British parents and educators are up in arms over the drunken debauchery of England's youth.
Very Reverend Very Highchurch of Sts. Brew and Vine Chancellery Chapel Hellespont on Coggery expressed shock and awe at the amount of alcohol being put away by the flower and faunas of English youth: "Whan I wuz a boyo we sang in choir and buggered each other for fun. All this boozin' can't be good for the future of the Empire nor Christendom."
Local North West English Parent Teacher Associations have been meeting in the backrooms of pubs to try and find then reason for their sodden youth. Over pitchers of Newcastle and fish and chips, civic leaders gave speeches about temperance and sang old bar songs.
No conclusion having been reached the membership voted to meet the very next night for Bangers and Brewskies in light of the urgent problem.