Diminutive politico Hazel Blears is said to be in a secret relationship with Elvis Presley impersonator, Cliff Richard.
The famous 'Bachelor Boy' was seen with the small firebrand Politician on a number of occasions. Paparazzi followed them for three days, and all they came up with were very unconvincing photos that were probably changed in photo-shop.
Mr Edi Tor from the Uranus paper said: 'Either these photos are faked, or Blears and Richard have never met. What makes me think that this is a fake is the fact that the Loch Ness Monster and Lord Lucan can be clearly seen drinking tea, and eating Jam and Scones in the background, which is just ridiculous'.
We asked a local madman what he thought: 'What is ridiculous, I believe is that Nessie is drinking Tea. The Monster would be much more likely to drink Coffee'
There you go, the words of a mad man. You heard them here first, pop pickers, not arf…