Written by Andrew Woodfine
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Saturday, 22 March 2008

image for Minister proposes 5000 pupil classes
Games lessons will take place in former WW2 PoW camps.

Schools Minister Jim Knight has caused controversy after remarks he made suggesting that class sizes of up to 5000 were perfectly acceptable. Mr Knight explained that due to slim lining of the RAF to meet current defense requirements a number of former RAF aircraft hangers had become available. "Children could be herded into these and taught by megaphone without any real impact on the quality of the learning experience for them. A couple of dozen RAF regiment dog handlers should be more than adequate to keep order and we'd save a fortune on the payroll."

Pointing out that recent changes to the curriculum meant old fashioned class sizes were hopelessly outdated he explained "Now we've got rid of most lessons in favour of Britishness training there's relatively little for the little tinkers to learn anyway. How hard can learning the national anthem and sewing little union jacks on their clothes be?"

All children will be required to repeat the governments new British pledge at the beginning of each day in the hanger, "I pledge to be British all day today, not foreign, just like the Prime Minister, who is very much British, not Scottish at all, just like you and me. Vote Labour. Amen"

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