Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 22 March 2008

image for David Cameron Fails Cycling Proficiency Test (Again)
Cameron is a nuisance, and not just to motorists!

Conservative Party leader David Cameron is in the spotlight again today after it was announced that he had recently failed his Cycling Proficiency Test for the sixth time, breaking a 112-year national record.

Cameron, who was arrested by the Metropolitan police earlier this week for several different miscarriages of the Highway Code, failed this time on 'not knowing his left from his right', (something he has been accused of in his political outlook) and for 'blandness in the saddle'. He is due to take the test again next month.

The Tory leader was photographed last week by a Daily Mirror journalist, and could be seen committing various heinous flauntings of the Highway Code, including:

  1. Driving the wrong way up a One Way street.
  2. Pulling a wheelie in a crowded shopping area.
  3. Standing on the crossbar whilst traversing London Bridge.
  4. Having no lights on his bike.
  5. Having no brakes on his bike.
  6. Having no bell on his bike.
  7. Riding his bike at speeds in excess of 60mph.
  8. Overloading his panniers.

Mr Cameron has already apologised for his indiscretions, and told journalists that:

"I know I have made a mistake on this occasion",

failing to remember that he had been photographed on 3 SEPARATE OCCASIONS, not just once.

Detective Chief Superintendent Frank Saddlebag told the Spoof:

"This shows he isn't taking his cycling obligations seriously. I suspect that if, and when, he becomes Prime Minister, similar hollow promises will be made about the running of the country."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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