Dublin (What's the crack mess) An underground network of evil Irish nuns are laundering drug money obtained via Al Queda sources and sending it to French Polishers - who then funnel the money back to Ireland where the nuns use the cash to buy Daniel O'Donnell merchandise.
The bizarre scam came to the attention of Irish Police known as 'The Pigs' last month when a number of nuns were spotted in Cork with bags of O'Donnell CD's and dolls.
Inspector Mulroney of 'The Pigs' said that nuns were evil masterminds of crime hell-bent on causing mayhem and destruction and needed to be stopped.
One nun in particular, a certain Brenda Blethyn was singled out as a ring leader of the ludicrous plan.
Sister Brendan is a drug user of note and has told other nuns that she is finding the habit hard to break.
Fergus McCarthy is 41.