Police in Plymouth investigated a suspicious man trespassing on private property who claimed to be a writer, authorities said today.
Local residents spotted the strange man while driving by the property and notified police.
The man explained that he was a spoof news writer for a popular website. However, every one of his 20 stories had so far been deemed by the website's editor as potentially offensive to some readers; as a result, a warning to the reader precedes each of his stories, thus encouraging readers not to read them.
The man said he was unwilling to write a turd story, so he needed to find another way to get a warning-free story on the site.
While driving in Plymouth, the man noticed a lovely meadow where deer, bunny rabbits and bluebirds frolicked peacefully among beautiful trees and brightly coloured flowers. Determined to write his first completely inoffensive story without the dreaded story warning, he decided to write a spoof news story about a man trying to write a spoof news story about a lovely and peaceful spring meadow.
Surely, he reasoned, a story like that cannot be considered offensive, upsetting or in poor taste. At last he would defeat the cruel website editor and achieve a warning-free spoof news story.
The police laughed but told the man he must leave because he was on private property, and warned him that his presence here may be offensive to some.
The man happily complied, because he had just finished his new spoof news story and planned to submit it for editorial review immediately.
He said he was confident the story would not be considered potentially offensive by the website editor.