Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 18 March 2008

image for NHS loses Buckingham Palace mental health records
"Who are you calling raving bonkers?"

London - (Ass Mess): A major security scare is under way as NHS bureaucrats admitted losing NHS files on Princess Anne's 1996 committal to the Maudsley psychiatric hospital and other confidential documents.

Drowning Street has now ordered Health Secretary Alan Johnson to make an official statement in Parliament.

Meanwhile Windsor Health Authority managers have said they certainly enjoyed emailing Puppet Monarchy medical notes to 'anybody needing a damned good laugh'.

According to Whitehall sources details of Prince Charles' successful 1979 vasectomy and Prince Philip's 1982 partial lobotomy are also included in the missing records along with Diana's boob-job (1990) and subsequent Harley Street psychotherapy sessions after a nipple fell off.

The scare arose after a discarded laptop found in a Sandringham skip was found to contain the missing files as well as NHS workers' ribald comments.

"All we need now is for their so-called tax returns disc to emerge on the internet," a public sector workers' union source said today.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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