NHS walk-in clinics in Wales are planning to offer patients 50 pence for each different STD that they test positive for.
In a bid to reduce the spread of sexually transmitted infections, the Welsh Assembly voted to introduce the scheme as part of wider plans to eradicate STDs from the principality.
Dr Henry Fondle, consultant clapologist, stated: "We hope this cash incentive will encourage those with multiple STDs to hand them in at one of our special STD banks. They are easy to use, and colour coded - red for Chylmida, Blue for Herpes etc."
It is understood that the publicity campaign is to be fronted by Welsh pop sensation Duffy.