London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Madonna is hopping mad at a London newspaper that said the butchered body of wealthy 23 year-old Norwegian socialite Martine Vik Magnussen was found 'less than five minutes' walk from her Marylebone home' in the early hours of Sunday morning.
"What is it with this obsessive lowlife rag?" Madonna screamed at reporters today after seeing the early evening headlines.
"Last time it was that 'headless torso dumped in North London Al Qaeda ghetto hellhole.'
"You guys claimed that was 'less than half a mile from Kate Moss's mansion,'" the newly face-lifted peroxide Material Girl snarled.
"Now you tryin' to smear me with the Magnussen corpse.
"Why can't you just say 'less than stroll away from Kevin Spacey's pad?' Or 'within a very short distance of Hillary Clinton's top UK fundraiser Lynne Forrester de Rothschild's home?'."
The wealthy blonde Norwegian was a student at nearby Regents College, the scene of a number of recent mysterious deaths including that of a computing postgrad found bound and gagged and floating in the Clarence Bridge end of Regent's Park boating pond.
Guy Ritchie is purple-faced with rage.