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Friday, 14 March 2008

image for Ahem! Terminal 5 'is not a hospice' Queen is told
"a triumph of ambition, commitment and collaboration with the Nazis"

London - (DaftAss Mess): It took a while before the penny dropped...

There on the Heathrow Airport tarmac today Old Fatty Mountbatten startled VIP dignitaries gathered for the official inauguration ceremony of Terminal 5.

"It is my pleasure and delight to open this hospice that is a 21st Century gateway to heaven," she said.

Queen Elizabeth, accompanied by the Duke of Edinburgh, added that she'd heard that the legalisation for the Airports' Assisted Death Scheme - formerly known as Euthanasia - was brought in to deal with last year's holiday congestion pandemic.

"What a jolly good idea to name the passengers' hospice the Terminal 5 Building," she added.

Then, deviating slightly from the official script HM said:

"Terminal 5 marks the start of a new beginning for many people.

"It is by any standard a triumph of ambition, commitment and collaboration with the Nazis ...er, collaboration with the Spanish land-grab merchants who bought the site at a repo auction."

Later, UK Transport secretary Ruth Kelly said Terminal 5 "was destined to become one of London's most ironic transport buildings".

The terminal opens to the public on March 30.

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