A 72-year-old man who, police had alleged, confessed to his cats that he had bludgeoned his partner to death, has been cleared of murder after his defence lawyers claimed the cats did it.
David Henton, of Neath, met Joyce Sutton, 65, in 2006, and she moved in with him and his 100 cats. Initially, Sutton and the cats got on fine, but, said the defence, their relationship soured, then became 'strained', and thereafter, quickly deteriorated. It was then that the cats hatched a plot to kill her.
After her death, police investigating the case suspected that Henton might confess his involvement in it to his cats, and bugged his home. They believed the evidence they had gathered would be enough to persuade the jury at Swansea Crown Court to convict him, but they hadn't reckoned with Henton's solicitor Mr Ben de Lore QC.
Mr de Lore told the court that the cats had tampered with police equipment, and had manipulated conversations that, subsequently, implicated Mr Henton in his partner's untimely demise.
The jury of 10 men and 2 women, including 12 gullible buffoons, took just ten minutes to find Henton 'not guilty'.
Det Chief Inspector Ian Credulous of South Wales Police said afterward:
"We thought we had our man, but these fast-talking, rule-bending, Armani-clad solicitors seem to be able to make juries believe just about anything.
We've been made to look like a load of pussies!"