Written by IN SEINE
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Tuesday, 11 March 2008

image for Grape Sues Man in Supermarket Row
Some of Gordon's colleagues

A grape is set to sue well known London accountant Mark Spencer for more than £300,000 after claiming he was trodden on by the overweight money-grabber at Tesco in Peckham.

Mark Spencer, 55, from Golders Green, north London, allegedly stamped on the fruit causing severe bruising and bleeding to the tiny red grape who has only just been released from hospital since the accident first occurred June 2004.

The grape (whom we shall call Gordon), told In Seine News;

"I was sitting on a shelf with a bunch of me mates 'avin a right ol' larf at some of the shoppers, when this fat geezer sporting a monocle and an Armani suit came a bit too close to where we were 'angin out and 'cause I was at the bottom, I got caught by his 'bingo wings'. I fell on the floor shouting for me mates to help me like! Unfortunately there was nothing they could do but watch in horror as the git stamped on me. With what remaining strength I had, I clung to the bottom of his shoe - those brown brogues are etched in my memory."

A lawyer who is not representing the heavyweight, told us;

"Of course, Mark Spencer will be contesting the High Court claim and will be representing himself. He is claiming for lost earnings on top of his general damages, because of "loss of confidence" and depression following his injury led to him being unable to recruit new clients and contacts for his business."

Spencer, a £750,000-a-year accountant said that the physical effects stopped him from skiing and playing football or tennis.

An incensed Gordon said;

"The poor sod! E's given no thought to me, me injuries, me family or me loss of earning for Tesco. I hoped to make a £1.25 profit for them. I think e's lying too, e's too fat to do Footy or Tennis and if he went skiing, e'd cause an avalanche like!"

The hearing is expected to last two weeks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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