London - (Ass Mess): Schoolchildren have been given the green light to swear at the cold war tribute act known as the Puppet Monarch.
The news follows Daily Tosser reports that schools will be made to enforce daft oath of allegiance ceremonies before kids are allowed to go home to their mums and dads.
Ex-UK Attorney General Lord Goldsmith says that any schoolchild who refuses will be bar coded on their forehead.
Getting a passport, driving licence or credit card could then be very tricky in the future.
"We need to prune out dissent," a Department for Constitutional Affairs source said today.
"Bollox," a National Union of School Students spokesman countered.
"It's just a stealth ID card scheme, and cheap at the price."