London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Chelsy Davy has dumped Prince Harry following reports that he secretly married a Taleban warlord's eldest daughter who is now two months pregnant with twins.
Harry maintains he was only following orders while on his first tour of duty in Afghanistan's notorious Tory Bora region.
"Chief of Staff General Sir Richard Donut made me do it," Harry told chums at his favorite Mayfair stomping ground last night.
"It was the only way to sign a peace treaty with Abu Hamza," the 23 year old sobbed into his Pina Colada.
Davy, 21, has packed her bags and is heading home to Zimbabwe where her dad is Robert Mugabe's Security and Intelligence Minister.
Kate Middleton is in hiding.