Written by carina-eta
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Topics: Birds, pigeon

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

image for Harris Hawks Released in London Stations to Slaughter Pigeons
Good Velociraptor, Fetch! Fetch!

A new spectator sport has emerged in the capital today as dozens of hardened Harris Hawks were released to commit carnage in train stations all over London.

Commuters were treated to airborne battles between the city's pigeons and the terrifying birds of prey, with St Pigeon-Pancreas reporting the highest number of "kills" at 57.

One commuter was disgusted to be left with pigeon innards staining his Armani suit at 8.30 am, whilst at Paddington (reporting a disappointing 13 "kills") several complaints were made regarding the "air being awash with pigeon-blood and feathers raining down."

The idea to release deadly birds of prey in train stations is credited to the Ministry of Defence on the premise of "keeping the statues clean" but news has leaked out that if the idea is successful there are plans to release velociraptors into the House of Commons.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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