Ministry of Defence successfully abort mission following leak that funk-rock-pop pioneer fighting for British Army in Afghanistan
Pop icon Prince landed safely in Britain this morning. This followed a frantic effort by the British Ministry of Defence, after US based website the Drudge Report revealed that he had been deployed on active service in the country since December.
It was decided late last year that Prince's unique combination of funk-rock-pop, and eccentric manner, were exactly what was needed to restore order to Afghanistan.
Despite being a really tiny little fella, and rubbish at fighting, Prince has had a restorative effect on morale since he joined fellow troops before Christmas.
Reports from troops in the troubled Helmand province have paid tribute to his unexpected contribution:
- "Incredible guitar solos, truly awesome" - Lt James Morell, 3rd battalion
"Fantastic energy, just what we needed" - Cpl Bill Highley, 14th battalion
"Bit weird, wears a lot of perfume" - Everyone else
The artist formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince was unavailable for comment this morning.