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Thursday, 28 February 2008

image for Prince Harry to Agincourt frontlines; Bavarian claimant 'moves up a notch'
Prince Harry's deployment to frontlines designed to restore House of Stuart.

Harry, 23, third-in-line to the disputed Throne of England, has been sent to the front lines at Agincourt as part of a complex pan-European political web of intrigue designed to restore the House of Stuart, CNN sources report.

Franz Bonaventura Adalbert Maria Herzog von Bayern, Duke of Bavaria and heir to the House of Stuart, will at last be put forward as rightful King of England, Scotland and Ireland, say numerous dynastic experts.

Bavarians are taking to the streets in beer-fueled droves to show their support of Duke Franz.

"Well, we're tired of watching those so-called Royals tarnish Britain's reputation and honor, " insisted one deliriously happy Bavarian. "It's time England had Royals who were less accommodating to totalitarian upstarts, and the House of Wittlesbach is on record as being extremely hostile to Fascist regimes."

His mate instantly agreed, adding, "The House of Wittlesbach would never get caught with its pants down."

Polls suggest that this Bavarian move to retake the throne may be, in the minds of many Britons, long overdue.

Prince Hal has joked about his nickname "the bullet magnet", but now says of his deployment to the embattled Agincourt frontlines: "I finally get the chance to do all the posturing, soldiering and dying that befits a prince! Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more!"

After pausing to light a fag for a friend, Harry added, "Gentlemen in England now a-bed shall think themselves accursed they were not here!"

One bystander responded to this overblown oratory: "What a prat."

The military's deployment of a Royal had been subject to a BBC news blackout, but that broke down when American CNN journalists leaked word of Prince Harry's reassignment.

Chief of the General Staff Sir Richard Darnitt, head of the British Army, said he was disappointed the news had been leaked, adding that establishing Colonies in North America may have been the lowest moment in the history of the British Empire.

Franz Bonaventura Adalbert Maria Herzog von Bayern, Duke of Bavaria and future King of England, could not be reached for comment.


Tragic Rabbit, Voice of London, Bavaria

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