Hell-Mandelson Province - (Tory Bora Mess): The Paul-Burrell-spawned tribute act known as Prince Harry has been on opium poppy harvesting duties since the end of December the Ministry of Sitting on the Fence has revealed.
Harry, 23, had demanded a slice of the action in working for a Halliburton regiment in Baghdad as part of his work experience in the Global Piss Process.
He was famously turned down for the posting when a General Belgrano-style two mile exclusion zone was placed around him.
The move followed protests by disgusted bona fide squaddies who said they'd had enough of the fetid Puppet Monarchy charade to add this extra liability to their already stretched resources.
Harry's picture appeared on UK tabloids today as he relaxed in the Kandahar presidential palace, snorting coke, smoking the local Afghani black and surrounded by nubile harlots from the Queen's Own Bongadiers.
"Bet they give him a medal for this," the Daily Tosser editorial said today.