Menwith Hill - (Tectonic Mess): UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown has chaired an emergency COBRA meeting this morning following widespread tsunami fears.
The Ministry of Defence's electronic monitoring station RAF Menwith Hill made a statement confirming that a Russian nuclear submarine, The Kursk II, sank at around 0100 hours off the Grimbsy coast, triggering a significant earth tremor across the UK.
The British Geological Survey immediately issued a tsunami warning as massive shoals of dead, radioactive fish began to be washed ashore, clogging the country's estuaries and releasing piscine methane into the already polluted British atmosphere.
Royal Navy minesweepers and frigates were dispatched to the stricken area north of Market Rasen after frantic exchanges between the MoD, the Foreign Orifice and Russia's defence attache at its embassy in London.
Meanwhile at London's Hellfire Club HQ grandees are cock-a-hoop at the incident and have blamed the recent eclipsed lunations for the jinxed Russian sub's fate.
"The Kursk II? It's all in the name, dear boy.
"Sounds so much like The Curse.
"Have any bales of cocaine washed ashore in the region?"
Vladimir Sputum is livid.