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Monday, 25 February 2008

image for Blair 'talked with DOG' before making crucial Iraq decision

Former Government spin doctor Alastair Campbelll has revealed that Tony Blair consulted with the Downing Street duty dog - moments before making his decision to send the country to war with Iraq.

Unfortunately, the dog on duty at the time was Meathead, an American Pitbull Terrier breed noted for their quick temper and aggressive attitude.

According to 'ex alcoholic' Campbell it was a case of the "wrong dog in the wrong place at the wrong time". Campbell's extended diaries, entitled: "How I got Blair to ignore every one else and come round to my way of thinking", published by Fable & Fable, are set to hit the shops this week.

Campbell reveals: "We are sure that had it been a Thursday, when an old English sheepdog called Ralph would have been on duty, then things would have turned out differently. The Old English sheepdog is a much more relaxed, much less aggressive breed, which we are sure would have been able to offer Blair advice that would have led to a peaceful solution."

The former tabloid hack and right hand man to failed newspaper entrepreneur Eddie Shah continued: "In fact, had it been on a Friday, the time traveling companion of The Doctor and Sarah Jane Smith, K9, would have been on duty, and able to compute the best solution to the problem of Iraq in a matter of seconds."

Rumours that the White House deliberately engineered the situation to ensure that the duty dog was sympathetic to its cause were unfounded, although Meathead has held previous posts in the Bush administration, most notably as chief adviser to ousted defence secretary Donald Bumface, a keen advocate of the Iraq war. Conspiracy theorists have already made tenuous links between Meathead and the CIA.

The pooch is now in charge of terrorist relations at the controversial Camp Canine in Guantanamo Bay. When asked to comment on the revelations in Campbell's extended Diaries, the vicious mutt stated: "Let's make no bones about this, I would provide the same advice if asked by Mr Blair today than I did four years ago. If any of the other Downing Street dogs have a different opinion, then they should have chewed it over with me nearer the time."

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