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Friday, 22 February 2008

image for 21 July Firefighter Hero: Confronting Bomber Less Puky Than Meeting Puppet Monarch
The firefighter hero, recovering after his latest ordeal.

London - (Bad Ass Mess): A heroic London firefighter who tackled a would-be bomber during the 21 July 2005 terrorism attacks spoke of the nausea he experienced at the Puppet Monarch's official opening of the London Fire Brigade's HQ in Southwark.

"I felt sick to the pit of my stomach," the fireman said, "knowing we're still being schmoozed into the make-believe of this daft Jemima Puddleduck character pretending to be our Sovereign Monarch.

"Confronting the bastard who was about to detonate a bomb on the Tube was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life," the 44 year-old hero commented.

"But I never thought I'd live to see the day when the old butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-arse Puppet Monarch would brazen it out in our very own firefighting HQ.

"If we'd been given a choice of celeb actors we'd have gone for someone like Arnold Schwarzenegger. At least his inferno disaster movies give some shreds of credibility."

The £10 million HQ is located on a former site bombed by Luftwaffe pilots by the Puppet Monarch's biological father, Fuhrer Adolf Hitler.

Charles and Camilla are flabbergasted.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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