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Tuesday, 19 February 2008

image for Sir David Attenborough To Receive Lifetime Recognition Awards From BBC And Queen
Sir David Attenborough

Sir David Attenborough, the iconic British broadcaster, is to receive a Lifetime Achievement Award from the BBC for his long and distinguished service to the animal kingdom. He is also to be honoured by the Queen.

Attenborough, who speaks fourteen animal languages, (including gibbon), and can swim underwater to a depth of more than twenty fathoms, is to receive the award at Christmas when his new series of documentaries is broadcast.

The intrepid naturalist and explorer is an expert in Ornithology, Geology, Zoology, Anthropology, Reptology, Parasitology, Paleantology and Cryptozoology, making him one of the cleverest living British mammals.

HM the Queen is to further bestow honour upon Mr Attenborough by making him a National Park and, next year, a listed building.

Atty, as he is known to the animals, has been responsible for numerous animal-type shows over the years such as Animal Magic, The Herbs, and The Basil Brush Show, but is best remembered for Life On Earth, Life On Mars, Life On The Game (his documentary about prostitution), and the study of a family's struggles with unemployment, Life On The Dole.

BBC spokesman Wayne Shortpants, 15, told visitors to the BBC website:

"Sir Dave's broadcasting career is incredible. He first started observing wildlife whilst serving with the Queen's Royal Marsupials in Borneo in the 1950s, and continued when he joined the 15th Royal Light Infantry Arachnids in Malaysia in the 60s. Indeed, he's almost an animal himself!"

Mr Attenborough was unavailable for comment as he was sniffing a camel's arse on location in the Southern Sahara.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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