Written by Pointer
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Wednesday, 13 February 2008

image for House of Tudor Butchery: The New Sweeney Todd!
A microscope slide of either Tudor's E Coli or McCrone's Gonnococal

Fleet Street ain't seen the like since its infamous Butcher Sweeney Todd provided the meats sweet and savory, for 'is landlady's cannibal pies. But now Mr William Tudor ov 'ouse a Tudor Butchery rivals the murderous butcher a Fleet Street. Tuor's shoppe 'as been dubbed the 'ouse a E Coli since his meats 'ave sickened the likes of 31 children and killed one poor little bloke.

The Guardian reported: "William Tudor was jailed over the outbreak, which affected 44 schools and left 31 children needing hospital treatment, but the Crown Prosecution Service decided not to bring a charge of manslaughter against him or his company."

Tudor's barrister, Shyster Shylock congratulated the Crown for sparing his client the humiliation and threat of a manslaughter charge:"Providin' meat E Coli-free these days is like electin' a politician free of the taint 'a corruption. 'Tis near impossible. The crown obviously knows that as does Tory and Labor alike. Only, perhaps, liftevator operator,turned candidate, ET McCrone is free from corruption and E Coli, though they say 'e may 'ave a touch a the clap...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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