A children's group has called for the eradication of the Mosquito, saying it is grossly unfair to the young, and is indiscriminate in targeting them.
The Mosquito, a winged insect whose females suck the blood of other animals for a hobby, has been condemned by the Children's Commissioner for England, Sir Al Aynsley-Green, who said the parasite "infringes upon the rights of young people".
Mosquitos are responsible for the deaths of millions of people every year, a high percentage of whom are children, and stubbornly resist all laboratory-produced vaccines. They have also developed the ability to break through mosquito nets to stalk their unsuspecting quarry therein.
Sir Aynsley-Green, who loves all kids, even those with ASBOs, told the BBC:
"The wretched beasts also emit a high-pitched whine that disturbs only young people aged 20 or under, and sends them scattering for cover. It's a disgrace."
Mosquito supporters, though, disagree with the demented Sir Al. One, shopping centre manager Alan Hitler, of the Bullring in Birmingham, spoke out against children when he said:
"They congregate in doorways, in dark recesses, and on the balconies and walkways upsetting customers and storeworkers alike. They're a bloody nuisance! Personally, I advocate the use of more mosquitos, despite their incessant buzzing."
Mosquito inventor, Howard Stapleton, has come under fire from Liberty director Shami Chakrabarti who, despite her appearance, is a woman. Said she:
"Imagine the tremendous outcry there would be if such an animal were used to cause discomfort to people based on race."
Mr Stapleton is currently working on a new development.