Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 9 February 2008

image for Winehouse gutted as suspected arson destroys Camden's Whorely Arms boozer
Outside Winehouse's boozer the Whorely Arms today

Camden Lock - (Arson Mess): Singer Amy Winehouse is in a state of severe shock at the news that her favorite North London watering hole, Camden's Whorely Arms, has gone up in a huge inferno that has destroyed the livelihoods of the area's top 100 drug dealers.

The pub is the top choice of London's A-List Narco-Celebs and a favorite scoring ground for the likes of Boy George, Pete Doherty, the Gallagher Brothers, Sadie Frost, Jude Law and a host of other self-publicising headline hoggers.

Tonight a dodgy spliff was initially blamed for the blaze that soon spread to the Camden flea market, home of generations of hippy heroin money launderers turned vegan veggie burger stall-holders, ethnic restaurants, bars, pubs and goths' clothing shops.

Up to thirty firefighting tenders attended the scene which rapidly became a suspected arson scene.

A police source later commented that Camden Flea Market's purported owner, ubder-dodgy rag trade thug Richard Caring, may have wanted an accelerated start to demolition plans for the market which would see the area gentrified into trendy and expensive shopping malls paying ten time the current going rent.

Caring, 59, first rose to mysteriously wealthy prominence ten years ago as Tony Blair's 'other' racket partner.

He has worked in tandem with the ex-PM and Lord Levy stealing an industrial portfolio worth some £50 billion and becoming Camden's industrial landlord despite huge police evidence against him.

A spokesman at Scotland Yard said today:

"Effing hell."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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