Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 8 February 2008

image for Sharia Law To Be Introduced Next Wednesday
A bishop after flogging

There will be major implications for the citizens of Great Britain next week, when British Law is dissolved, and Sharia Law is introduced from midnight next Tuesday.

The architect of this disaster is the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, who said yesterday that, in a multicultural, multifaith society, there must be room for different laws for people who follow different religions.

Sharia Law is an Islamic law practised by Muslims, and therefore barbaric.
Stealing in the UK would get you a ticking-off from a security guard, whereas under Sharia Law, a hand would be hacked off with a sharp cutting tool.

Extra-marital indiscretion in this country, although frowned upon, does not attract punishment. In Islamic states, however, a woman found to have had out-of-marriage sex, would have her genitals extracted with pliers, and she would then be made to wear them over her head for a month.

Speaking on BBC Radio 4, Dr Williams said:

"Justice like this would deter extra-marital relationships, and preserve the sanctity of marriage, as well as decreasing the numbers of the pilfering little sods who are so rampant in our shopping centres today."

Church leaders have backed the Archbishop to the hilt, and the government, which is weak-kneed, has buckled under Muslim pressure to change the law. From Wednesday morning, any litter dropped will mean a flogging, and anyone found to be homosexual, will be sent to Afghanistan for 're-training'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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