Written by Ramesh Kallidai
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Topics: David Beckham

Thursday, 7 February 2008

image for David Beckham sobs after nervous breakdown
David Beckham with a streak of pink

In a moment captured by the world media, David Beckham was shown on TV sobbing uncontrollably after his wife Victoria rode off with his favourite toy - his wife's pink polka-dotted blouse.

"Victoria is the cruellest wife imaginable," sobbed the legendary football hero. "She knows that I always wear this pink polka-dotted blouse every night before I go to sleep. Now I just cannot go to sleep. Due to insomnia, I can't even practise football anymore. I am ruined - and all because she wants my favourite blouse back."

Meanwhile, Victoria remained undeterred.

"David looks kinda cute in my blouse, but I do need it back," she explained. "Its the blouse that my father wore on his wedding night. He kept it real safe and gave it to me on my first day at college. The sentimental value is immense. And David keeps spoiling the blouse every day by spilling the cardamom-flavoured hot milk that he drinks before going to sleep. It's such a mission to keep it clean."

The maid-servant at the Beckham household had reported that the Beckhams always quarelled every morning about who would wash the pink polka dotted blouse.

"But the whole thing is really sad," she said rather diminutively. "He used to play real good football. Now that he doesn't have his - I mean her - pink polka-dotted blouse to sleep in, he has this dreadful insomnia. It has really made David into a sleepless zombie and he has cracked under the hideous pressure. I don't know why that stupid Victoria can't give him back his - I mean her - blouse. After all she has 3219 blouses, 7241 skirts, 2100 jeans and 433.5 shoes all brought by David(one half was lost when she threw it out of the window after an early morning fight over the pink polka dotted blouse). Really, after all the freebies that she got from David, she can't even give him one single blouse. It makes me so sad."

It was reported that as soon as the maid made the statement to the press, Victoria had become angry like a tornado and sacked her with immediate effect. However, Wayne Rooney's girlfriend hired the maid on the same day to get inside information about the Beckhams. It was reported that she wanted to learn from Beckham's maid how she could dissuade Wayne from wearing her yellow-lily-patterned chiffon skirt in bed every night.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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