Written by Jen A. Taylia
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Topics: George W. Bush, Iraq

Wednesday, 21 April 2004

image for George W. Bush makes concessions to keep U.K. troops in Iraq.
Bush demonstrates Golf Swing Follow through as Blair looks on with boredom.

After lengthy negotiations between the two countries leaders, Bush has agreed to ask for U.N. sanctions against the state of Massachusetts and if necessary lead a peace keeping force in the invasion and occupation of Boston.

"We see no difference between terrorists and those who fund and harbor terrorists" Bush stated in a public address. "For too long Boston has funded the terrorist regimes of Northern Ireland, and make no mistake about it, these evil doers will pay the price".

Sources close to Tony Blair said that the U.K. premiere was very pleased with the agreement although he had originally proposed it as a joke.

In response to reporters questions Blair explained, "It's all a bit of a surprise really. It seems like a fair trade though… let the U.S. minimise the chance of attacks within the U.K. from paramilitary organizations in Northern Ireland, and in return we keep our troops in Iraq."

When asked if Bush had any plans to put U.S. troops into Belfast, Blair explained that this would be highly unlikely.

"U.S. troops have become very used to occupying countries where there is almost constant sunshine. It is very unlikely that the current administration could push a proposal through Congress that would move troops somewhere that it is likely to rain almost every day. Apart from the psychological impact of such a miserable environment, from a budget perspective the U.S. now manufactures nothing but desert pattern military clothing."

One person who won't be pleased with this decision is John Kerry, the likely Democratic nominee for the upcoming Presidential election. Few will consider it a coincidence that John Kerry is Massachusetts Senator.

Political analysts believe that this move on the part of Bush may in fact be nothing more than a ploy to distract Kerry from his campaign.

Certainly the need to fight off an invasion of U.S. troops in the streets of Boston would affect Kerry's ability to focus on the November 2004 election, but sources close to the Democrat responded today that an attack would no doubt seal the Massachusetts vote.

Kerry himself was unavailable for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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