Written by Gordon Bennet
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Sunday, 3 February 2008

image for Thousands of Illegal Immigrants Arrested while trying to Board the Dover to Calais Ferry
A Spokesman for the Illagal Immigrants said "You British can stuff your piss poor weather and crappy jobs"

As the Police are unable to cope the British Army have been drafted in to Kent as Thousands of Illegal Immigrants who are desperate to leave the UK are attempting to board the Dover to Calais Ferry or sneak onto Lorries travelling through the Channel Tunnel.

A Refugee Centre has been set up at Folkestone where an estimated 100,000 people are living rough while they wait the opportunity to escape to France.

A spokesman for the Immigrants told Sky News "that everything in the UK was absolutely fantastic while they where illegal as they had free board and lodging, free food and clothing and a job paying cash in the black economy."

They went on to say "that suddenly it went pear shaped when the British Government admitted they did not have a clue how many Illegal Immigrants had entered the Country."

"As there was no way of accurately finding out the amount, the Government had decided that they would make everyone legal."

"This of course meant that we would now have to pay our own way which was not acceptable."

"The final straw came when I received a Tax Bill for the past twelve months. That British Government has got a bleeding cheek."

"You can stuff your piss poor weather and crappy jobs that we are doing because the majority of British People would not get out of bed to do some of these jobs."

"We are off to the South of France where the sun always shines, the food and wine are delicious and there are plenty of jobs paying cash in the hand."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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