The Mayor of London, Ken Deadstone, has slapped a demolition order on the Houses of Parliament as preparations for the 2012 London Olympics are already under way.
The building will become redundant in 2010 anyway as the seat of power will be transferred to Brussels and there will be no need for MPs or general elections.
Mr Deadstone told In Seine News;
"With the Olympics coming to London I am eager to generate as much income as possible from my 'cash-cow' the Congestion Charge. It will probably be my last gesture as Mayor before I retire, and I want to be remembered as one of the most respectable and responsible public servants ever to have graced this city. Some of the bench seats that have supported some of the most famous bums in history will be sawn up and fitted in my 'Bendy-Buses' - how's that for recycling?"
"I have struck a deal with ebay to sell Big Ben which will go for auction early next year and will help pay for the demolition. I hope to attract hundreds of buyers from around the world and will begin with the low starting price of 99p. If someone could sell London Bridge to an American, I'm sure it would look good in some Russian billionaire's garden especially if he loses his Rolex!"
Other pieces, believed to have been designed by Pugin will be donated to the British Museum; except the gargoyles - they will be given to former MPs who bear a likeness to them. John Prescott is alleged to be getting at least two!