Education and sanity both took a serious blow today as McDonalds announced not only an A-Level qualification but also new colleges to facilitate the new McStudents.
Examples of modules that make up the A level include: cleaning, speaking to customers, operating a microwave, looking happy when you are dead inside and resuscitating customers
The new colleges will be of a similar aesthetic design to the McDonalds "restaurants" that are particularly virulent in economically depressed areas of Britain.
The students will be taught in a similar manner to that of the restaurants. Students will be forced to cue up in lines where they will be lectured by a greasy 15 year old on the importance of personal hygiene.
McLecturers are being recruited from the "top performing restaurants" in the UK. Benefits of such a position are said to include up to 14,500 PA (Subject to PRP), a free McDonalds themed body kit to fit to your Nova/Escort/Punto and as much cheaply produced "meat" as your liver can process.
TheSpoof.com managed to get its hands on a leaked copy of the 2008/09 McDonalds Eggshamandbacon. Here is an extract:
- Complete the following sentence: "Would you like _____ with that?"
- a. Flies
- A double quarter pounder with cheese is what percentage of your recommended daily saturated fat in-take?
- a. 72%
- In Britain how many people die of heart disease each year?
- a. 50,000
- The annual staff turnover at McDonalds per year in the UK is:
- a. Under 10%
- Which of the following words describes the proffered management style of McDonalds floor managers (you may tick more than one answer)
- a. Autocratic