Peter Hain was forced to resign today from his post as Secretary of State for Work and Pensions when it was revealed that his campaign to be deputy prime minister had spent over $7 billion dollars that rightfully belonged to French Bank Societe Generale.
"It is not my fault" Hain said. "I appear to have appointed a rogue trader as my campaign manager. I obviously didn't ask any questions about where the money was coming from, nor how on earth such spending was within the law - I was too busy. I just assumed my that the systems within my campaign team would work. But hey - if the bank can't be bothered to check they are looking after $7 billion why should I?"
As Peter Hain was taken into custody to be held for 42 days without charge, the rogue trader in Paris was appearing at Diana's tribunal. Paul Burrell appeared afterwards, as ever when the name Diana is mentioned, to say that she had had many rogue's in her life, but Peter Hain was not one them.