Clarence House - (OMFG Mess): The Pretender to the Puppet Throne's latest self-promotional PR stunt generated over 20 tons of carbon and other waste commonly found in flatulent emissions according to latest figures.
Charles insisted on lecturing an Abu Dhabi conference about green-house emissions via satellite hologram projection in a publicity fiasco designed to portray him as the next British monarch.
His personal attendance had been barred by the UK Serious & Disorganised Crime Squad after UAE officials protested at having to put up with the self-aggrandized entourage that would have accompanied the sordid little Hitler clone during an actual visit.
Canny Abu Dhabians weren't left impressed by the Puppet Monarch's holographic official successor spouting on and on at them and laughed horribly at his daft presentation.
"Who owns the Abu Dhabi Investment Authority then, you tosser?" was a typical retort hurled at the address from UAE energy industry honchos sick of having the Puppet Monarchy pulling the wool over their very sharply focused eyes.
"Flaming cheek, that's what I call it," one conference delegate said today.