Written by Bob Muppet
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Topics: Parliament, London, MPs

Monday, 21 January 2008

image for Kebab crazy M.P.s Terrorize London's Streets
London gangs abandon streets

Gordon Brown received an official warning, today, from legal teams representing the violent and dispossessed gangs of London.

It has been claimed that the streets of London have been abandoned by the police force with the consequence that gangs of politicians are roaming the streets at night causing distress to drug dealers, pimps and armed gangs.

Jacqui Smith, the home secretary is the latest minister to bring terror to the heart of gangland when she allegedly visited a kebab shop late at night.

Gang leaders were clearly upset by her audacious behaviour because it is well known amongst London's law abiding communities that the streets are no-go areas at night.

The gangs rightly point out that under the 'human rights' legislation, they have a legal duty to inflict pain and death to any persons who find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Sir Ian Blair, the commissioner of the Metropolitan police force issued an immediate apology to London's underworld and gave his personal assurance that the streets would remain un-policed and lawless as long as he remained in office.

Furthermore, he gave a pledge that he would provide a free police delivery service to any gang members who wished to purchase kebabs from Peckham or Hackney.

The disgraced home secretary was not available for comment, but a source close to the government revealed that she was very likely to be forced to resign over the issue.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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