The UK government has given up trying to keep citizens' personal details secret. After the latest revelations that a Royal Navy computer containing personal details of hundreds of thousands of people has been stolen.
The Ministry of Defence said: "We give up. Basically people are too incompetent to be entrusted with personal details, but what can we do?"
The theft of a naval computer follows the disappearance of CDs that went missing between the HMRC and the NAO last year. The UK population felt that all the lessons had been learned, but as today's news shows that was just pie in the sky.
A spokesman for the UK said: "We think that now all personal details are in the public domain. We now recommend that all citizens take a false identity. Let's be honest, they are pretty easy to find."