Written by Honest Lee
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Wednesday, 16 January 2008

image for I've eaten everything - Attenborough
It's pandas not pizzas for David Attenborough

Internationally renowned animal lover and nature presenter David Attenborough has admitted he has eaten at least one of every animal that has appeared in his programmes.

"The shows were just a cover story" admitted the greying legend, "I just love eating animals and fortunatey the BBC have paid for my travels to find them all these years.

"In the early days the pay was poor so I used to do a bit of poaching to bolster up my bank account. The rhinos were quite fun to shoot but as my aim improved I blasted a couple of cheetahs too. I got so good that I was selected to go to the Olympics but declined as there isn't much wildlife in the cities."

When pushed to choose his favorite animal delicacy, Attenborough quipped, "South American parrots make a splendid meal, though they don't half repeat on you."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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