Con-nought Square, London - (Worse Ass Mess): After years of wriggling, denials, hideous obfuscations and downright massive Opus Dei whoppers ex-UK Prime Monster has admitted that the current elder son of the Pretender to the Throne, Prince William, is his own grandson.
Blair had been under intensive cross-examination by the bagmen of the so-called 'Quartet' group of Global Piss Process luminary bodies that pays him a reported £100,000 in 'expenses' sic) to carry out a souped-up version of Lord Levy's former job schmoozing Sordid Arabia while fellating the Vatican.
Soon after New Year's day the pressure on him reached boiling point when backdated cheques for December 2007, signed on the Northern Crock Bank, suddenly bounced.
Livid with rage Blair hotfooted it to the Halliburton Offshore Banking Unit in Bahrain and demanded an immediate cash subvention "before Cherie gives me another black eye over mortgage arrears accruing on Con-Nought Square."
Senior NATO Military Intelligence lawyers were waiting for him however, and pounced before he could get his slimy paws on the sackful of £££s.
The confrontation was videotaped and consigned to secure storage along with the DNA tests that proved positive that Wee Little Willy Windsor is just another impostor, a grandson of the mad who himself is Hitler's grandson.
Cherie is incontinent with rage.