London - (Reuterus): Giant replicas of Princess Diana's fanny, Heather Mills' missing leg and a sunbed-ready Camilla are on the Culture Secretary's shortlist to grace Trafalgar Square's empty plinth.
Not everybody is happy with the contenders however.
Institute of Contemporary Dark Arts critics have claimed that the 60ft diameter Diana pudendum is "only a life-size representation" of the Hellfire Club slapper's best-known feature after inquest evidence from a cross-section of some of her 1,000+ rent-boys, amuse-bouches and erstwhile lovers.
The Mills leg has also been slammed "as the wrong bleedin' limb" after experts noted it was pointless to display her right leg instead of the one that's officially missing.
As for the statue of the blubbery-arsed Camilla a number of competition judges suddenly came down with a severe bout of winter projectile vomiting syndrome after viewing the proposed erection.
"As a cure for constipation it's without rival," the Royal Academy's Nicholas Sirotter said, "and certainly opened up the sluices."
Cherie Blair is a 10/1 competition outsider with a 100ft rubber model of her mouth.