Written by Simon Bolger
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Sunday, 6 January 2008

image for Brown gives cheese power the green light
Brown is astounded at the power of cheese.

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown has hinted that he is going to approve a plan for the opening of a new generation of dairy power plants.

He told TheSpoof.com that finding a new energy source is "a fundamental precondition of preparing Britain for the new world". To achieve this he is preparing plans to close electrical power stations and replace them with large lumps of cheese and vats of milk and yoghurt.

Mr Brown is said to have been very impressed with preliminary trials where 10 Downing Street adopted a cow called Tony and used his dairy produce to power the government HQ.

Fluorescent tubes have been lined throughout Downing Street's ceilings and for 23 hours of the day they have milk pumped through them mixed with the chemical argon, which aids in the longevity of the light.

Mr Brown is said to be pleased with the use of cheese power packs to run the copious amounts of electrical appliances in his home.

He has commented: "Little Tony's dairy output has met our predictions and with inflation we are confident, that like the public, he can be milked dry at an economically sound government cost."

Space Race

To keep up with the USA's advances in space technology, Brown and his ministers are due to begin talks over building rocket ships powered by cheese. Brown hopes that the first manned British rocket reaches what he called "the ultimate cheese power source, the Moon", inside in the next decade.

Brown said further: "We'll be sharing Cathedral cheese and wine with the Ewoks in no time."

Opportunist?

Mr Brown has used the cheese revelation to criticise his opponents. Mr Brown's opponents have claimed he is using potential cheese power as a "quick-fix" to solve Britain's dwindling power supply.

He has called them "opportunist" in light of the discovery of cheese power; he has said that he is 100% committed to Britain's long-term interest.

After the hour-long press conference about cheese power, Mr Brown concluded with an anti-terror statement: "We will not share our cheese with terrorists".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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