London - (Bad Add Mess): Up to 1,000 of the UK's ex-KGB spooks 'who simply melted into the UK's New Labour Party' will spend their Russian Orthodox Xmas in the slammer according to the Met's top brass this weekend.
The Russian festivities begin on Monday 7 January and will be celebrated by British law enforcement officers with a huge raid on cold war espionage dinosaur kleptocrats.
The bust will focus on all the dodgy participants of Tony Blair's 1998 Good Friday IRA Agreement who were summarily allowed to plunder up to £250 billion of UK assets in return for keeping quiet about him having run the IRA Army Council from 1983 to 1997.
"And that includes all the so-called economists and analysts in the Treasury, HM Customs & Revenue and the City's Financial Services Authority," a Scotland Yard source hinted today.
As for the ex-spooks rent-boys and bagmen/women like Camilla, Princess Michael of Kent (sic), Lord Carrington and Lord Browne "they will also be corralled and taken into custody in a MoD facility for processing."
The revelations are particularly worrying for London's catering and hospitality industries which were systematically ransacked by re-invented ex-KGB spooks as soon as New Labour slimed its way into public orifice in May 1997.
And as for the rag trade's High Street big-names: "They're a major part of the conspiracy too," the Met source continued.
"We're talking here about rounding them up and throwing away the key.
"And good riddance to effing bad rubbish with brass knobs on."
Sir Terence Con-Artist is seething with rage.