Written by IN SEINE
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 31 December 2007

image for Police Rob Children!
Beer taken from an 8 year old, waiting for the Policeman's Ball.

In part of a national crackdown, Police Officers in Birmingham have confiscated more than 600 bottles and cans of alcohol from children as young as 8 in just one night.

Officers and police community support officers (PCSOs) in Birmingham had confiscated 550 cans and bottles of lager, 15 bottles of wine, 15 bottles of vodka, 22 bottles of vodka mixer drinks, 32 bottles of cider and 14 bottles of other mixed drinks from under-18s in the night before Christmas.

They also took away 5 Christmas trees, 4 nicked Kylie DVDs, 3 cartons of Benson & Hedges cigarettes, 2 plastic gnomes and a reindeer hoodie.

Officers found even more alcohol stashed in parks and other public places.

Sgt Ivor Swigg, of the police's licensing department in Birmingham, said: "I still find it astonishing that so much alcohol is in circulation among young people .When we were young we were never caught doing such a thing! Kid's these days are too easy to catch"

He promised a crackdown on shops selling alcohol to teenagers but said that in most cases alcohol was bought by older friends, members of the public or even parents who knew the booze would be drunk in the street.

Sgt Swigg said: "The results in Birmingham were 'disappointing' and drinking in the streets caused violence, anti-social behaviour and criminal damage. In an earlier crackdown, from October 8 to November 5, major problems of anti-social behaviour, Driving and taking away (from Mc Donald's Drive-thrus) and theft were caused by youths in Aston, Yardley, Tipton and Balsall Heath.

The confiscated alcohol will be poured down the drain (once it has passed through the kidneys of the West Mercia Police Force at their New Year's Eve Party.); the Christmas trees will be shredded; the Kylie DVDs will help the party go with a swing before being donated to a hospice; the cigarettes will be incinerated (by the lips of Officers); the two gnomes will make good target practice for the Tactical Firearms Unit and the hoodie will be given to a homeless type person.

Make IN SEINE's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 3?

3 25 19 9

Go to top