Fucking'em PalArse, London - (Arse Over Tit Mess): In a triumph of self re-invention surpassing even the most accomplished Hellfire Club spin doctors the Puppet Monarch released her all-time top PR whoppers this week in a newly launched video channel on the YouBoob! internet site.
Fifty years of Fellating for the KGB has now topped the Xmas most-watched list and is heading for its one billionth viewing.
This has made Hitler's daughter - a.k.a. Old Fatty Mountbatten - the most prolific spreader of post World War II disinformation since the death of P2 Lodge honcho and 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi, by whom she had a son now called Gerry Adams MP.
Much of the footage shows the desperation of her first televised broadcast of 1957 aired on the day when NATO Global Command told her that her stand-up comic routine as the doppelganger Queen Elizabeth II lookalike was well and truly over.
"We're giving her a few more days and then it's the Order of the Boot!" senior Whitehall mandarins said today after completing New Year Military Coup d'Etat arrangements that will see the old Whore on Terra matriarch forever consigned to the waste disposal unit of hystery.
Camilla is incontinent with rage.