City Hole - (Bas Ass Mess): Mayor Ken Livingstone's right hand man Lee Jaspa is the top suspect in the disappearance of £2,500,000 of London taxpayers' funds which are suspected of having been turned into a lucrative crack cocaine dealing venture.
Met police were called to City Hole today as the grants scandal mushroomed amid new allegations of fraud, violence intimidation.
London MPs had complained that Jaspa and Livingstone's London Development Agency had laundered the money via a series of dodgy doogooder outfits window-dressed as charitable ethnic projects.
They claim the money was used as a downpayment for a huge crack deal negotiated ostensibly as the Venezuelan heavy crude oil arrangement for London Buses.
Today's revelations are the latest twist in the political scandal surrounding Mr Livingstone.
At his Cricklewood home this evening Livingstone was having none of it as usual.
"Bleedin' London Evening Fascist newspaper is trying to smear me once again," Livingstone snarled as reporters asked him for a statement.
And somewhere under an eco-friendly newt pond in North London's Camley Street Nature Reserve a loud groan was heard from the grave of the real Livingstone who was buried after ex-UK Prime Monster depsatched him with a hacksaw back in 1989 before planting one of his favorite IRA Livingstone-lookalike chums to take over the ID and persona of the current Mayor of London...