Written by Paul Mac
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Tuesday, 25 December 2007

image for Darwen Swimming Baths to Host New "Smoke 'n' Swim" Sessions
Smoked Sausage - A delicacy in Darwen

DARWEN LANCS ENGLAND - Amid all the bad press surrounding Smokers at the moment, officials in Darwen are planning offer an olive branch to smokers in the town by hosting designated swimming sessions exclusively for smokers hosted at the local swimming baths.

Several trial sessions have already taken place and have already proved popular with the majority smokers of Darwen.

With a smoking population of 84%, some townsfolk were becoming frustrated at the increasing lack of smoking venues and were beginning to feel marginalised.

Things were looking really bad until the manager of Darwen Swimming Baths suggested hosting exclusive sessions for smokers in which they can enjoy a fag yet keep fit at the same time.

Manager Jim Scuttle said "We decided to offer sanctuary to our local smokers". The trial sessions were held last month.

"When we held our trials sessions the pool was packed with smokers and the whole building was filled with glorious smoke" he added.

The local council have denied allegations that they are exploiting the desperation of smokers in return for increased revenue at the door of the baths.

Critics have pointed out that Darwen Baths was failing to attract sufficient visitors over the past 25 years and was on the verge of closure until they launched their Smoke'N'Swim sessions.
Allegations which Jim Scuttle has strongly denied.

Smoke 'N' Swim sessions will be held Mon-Sun, 10am-8pm from Monday 8th May.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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