Written by Shinny
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Thursday, 20 December 2007

image for Queen To Become Oldest Living Monarch
The Queen Sporting A Vile Pukey Yellow Dress and Hat

Queen Elizabeth II was set Thursday to become Britain's oldest monarch, overtaking her great-great grandmother Queen Victoria amid signs the royal family is preparing for life after 81-year-old "Lillibet".

Victoria died in 1901 aged 81 years and 243 days following a hang glider accident, and Elizabeth will mark passing the milestone with neither pomp nor ceremony, spending the day as usual doing jack shit with her husband of 60 years, Prince Philip.

According to Buckingham Palace, Elizabeth was to pass Victoria's record at around 5:00 pm (1700 GMT) Thursday -- taking into account times of birth and death. Other observers, counting only in whole days, put the mark as Saturday.

Corals bookmakers are placing odds of 40-1 that she'll be murdered by the more than experienced Prince Philip by 4:00pm, thus rendering this article redundant.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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