Bloodyvostock - (Reuterusski): Outgoing Russian President Vladimir Putin has used the Moscow-Washington hotline to quiz President Bush about mounting speculation regarding the British holidaymakers suspected of being Portuguese arguidos.
Putin has demanded some very tough answers from George W Bush including:
Who the hell really runs the KGB anyway?
Why was Opus Dei funding the vacation?
Have the couple been DNA-tested to determine if they are at all related to the Whore on Terra's Poodle Brothers?
Was fraudulent British canoeist John Darwin seen paddling about in the Praia Da'Illusion waters on the night in question?
What happened to the 'missing discs' that HMRC held on all MI6/KGB/CIA/Mossad double-agent backpay?
"We demand answers," a Kremlin spokesman said today, "not least because the canoeist's Panama holiday-home has just been outed on the internet as a NATO safe-house for debriefing Northern Crock Bank money-launderers."
More details are expected soon.