Fleet Street - (Diabolical Mess): A UK Sunday tabloid has warned its readers to prepare themselves for dire circumstances in the event of the Puppet Monarch's death.
Writing in today's Fascist-On-Sunday columnist Dave Tossbag said:
"The day the Puppet Monarch dies will be an Armageddon-like disaster for all of us.
"Those of us who live to see it - and it may be just around the corner, chums - will be forced to face many disgusting and frightening truths.
"Not least of which is that we've all been hoodwinked for the last 60 years into believing a load of old crap about the House of Windosr.
"Trust me, it's gonna be bad. very, very bad.
"Especially for certain smug top-notch British families like the Astors, the Mitfords, the Howards and various other Bush Family fellaters.
"I expect that Britain's enemas will all be exposed as having wormed their way into the very fabric of society.
"I'm pretty damned sure that top of the list will be the BBC.
"But most of all I fear for my own exemplary career as the Puppet Monarch's top-selling tabloid apologist.
"So I'm just taking myself off abroad to a reliable, non-extraditable country somewhere in Latin America.
"That way when push comes to shove Special Branch will have one helluva time trying to bust me for all the crap I've piled their way during my seminal 30 year career.
"Cheerio, and Sieg Heil!"