Royal Courts of Justice - (DUI Mess): Princess Diana regularly sent spent condoms to Dodi Fayed a coroner's court was told today.
"Diana knew Dodo was a bankrupt gold-digging ex-KGB crack dealer," ex-Fayed fiancee Kelly Fisher said, "but she had a soft spot for him.
"Mostly her brain, if not her vagina.
"So she humored some of his more wacky money-spinning ideas by sending him the DNA belonging to her wealthy rent boys.
"Dodo used these to smear the lovers who serviced Diana's carnal needs by planting the evidence in incriminating places.
"It was a hair-brained scheme but it made him a living.
"In the first quarter of 1997 alone he banked over £250,000 by planting US billionaire Ted Forstmann's spent Durex in Hilary Clinton's In-Tray.
"The accompanying billet-doux was an utterly charming 'You're screwed, Clinton!'.
"Both parties hurriedly paid up."
The inquest continues.